he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
