yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
