I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
