i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
