Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
