sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
