we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize