mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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