fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
