There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
