4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
