yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
