what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
