# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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