She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
