were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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