You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
