I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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