Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I will pee on everything he values.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
