im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
