ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
