She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
