SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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