Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
