that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
