Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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