I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
