at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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