It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
