im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
