You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize