do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If that was your dad, he is hot
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
This is my gift to your gina
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
