Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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