well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
