I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
