I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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