You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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