I skipped work to stalk him.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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