this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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