Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
