is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
