so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
