Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
