I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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