I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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