Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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