I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
