My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
