Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My first STD was from a foam party
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
