thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize