whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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