I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
do herpes really smell.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
