Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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