i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
