one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
