I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
