hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize