And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
