Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
